i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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