why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
