Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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