Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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