Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
