shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
