Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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