just come out here and I will go home with you...
thus making me awesome and them whores
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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