wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
