I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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