Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
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you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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