I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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