My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
