After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
