I'll bet she douches with gravy.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
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What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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