sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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