Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
