How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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