thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have post one night stand depression
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