1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
