This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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