And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
