Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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