His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
