im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
