you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
