There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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