Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
