now i know why i became what i already was.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
