I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
