Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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