I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
