so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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