Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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