He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
