You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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