i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
