I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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