oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
