i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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