they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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