It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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