dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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