i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
