I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
