I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Rumble strips road head = magical
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
