You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
