At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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