was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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