remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
