I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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