she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
