You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
