At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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