its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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