So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
