So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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