**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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