i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
