Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize