im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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