Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm bleeding and have questions
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
