she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
