I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
