Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
