i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
