I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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