i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
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I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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