Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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