I seem to have left my pride at pride
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
