i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she looked like the before picture.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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